How to survive a long distance relationship!

Many people say that long distance relationships cannot work. Who hasn’t heard that a relationship while at University, for example, cannot last? In those few months leading up to that farewell I was told time after time, “Be prepared for it not to work out.” You almost set yourself up for a fall before you start. With everyone telling you that it won’t work you get to a point where you start to believe it.

Do not get disheartened, there is hope. If your love is strong you can make it through. Although it is hard you have a chance. The main difficulty is trust. Over that sort of distance you have to trust each other without question, and breach of that trust can lead to destruction. You have to be not only in love with the person but completely devoted to them mind, body and soul to survive the separation.

If one of you is not as dedicated as the other the distance will tear you apart. It is the everlasting test of love. Those who survive have a stronger relationship for it. SO, you may ask, how do you survive the most trying times you can face in your relationship? It’s not overly difficult, but I’ll give you some pointers.

1 - Take each day one at a time.

When you are apart it is easy to think about how many weeks or months you are going to spend away from each other. The trick is to concentrate on getting through each day. Although the time apart will still be the same, by splitting it into smaller chunks each part of that time is easier. You will notice after a while that the weeks have flown by.

2 - Keep busy.

Do something to keep yourself active. The less time you have not doing anything the easier it is to pass the days. Having other things to focus on keeps your mind away from being alone. Try joining the gym or taking up a hobby.

3 - Keep in contact.

Don’t go days without talking. Its easy to get caught up in the excitement of somewhere new but believe me, not talking to each other frequently can cause doubts. My partner and I talk everyday, and have done for most of the time we have been apart. Even if it is only for a few minutes a day it is enough for you to tell them that you love them and to make sure they are ok. The longer you go without talking the more paranoid you can end up getting.

4 - Make the most of time spent together.

One of the easiest things to make a long distance relationship work is to focus on doing things together. The more often you can get to see each other the better your time apart will seem. Months break up nicely if you see them every couple of weekends. Don’t waste those precious moments together, talk, hug, enjoy being with one another and remember why you are with them.

My Week at Bristol CPS

Day one: Monday 29^th October.

I started the week in the offices of the CPS. Apparently CPS lawyers only spend one full day a week in the office. Since the new rules on charging the CPS has moved out of the office and back out into the world. This was supposed to be a boring day from which most people get very little. I found today very interesting and found that although paperwork is a part of the life of a CPS lawyer it is not as big a part as you would imagine.

Looking through some case files and reading the police reports I realised how little law was involved in the process of conviction. The only law that was involved was to work out what offence the suspect should be charged with. Most of the process centred around witnesses and written reports of what happened. Very rarely did you need to know the law inside out to work out how likely a conviction would be.

One of the things I learnt was how the CPS decide to continue (or just start) a case. There are two criteria that need to be met for a case to continue/start. The two criteria are; the Evidential Test and the Public Interest Test. The Evidential test asks if there is sufficient evidence to have a “realistic chance of a conviction”, i.e. is the judge/jury more likely than not to convict. Only if this test is passed can it ever hope to be continued, without it there will not be a charge (or charges will be dropped). Once that test is passed the case has to pass the Public Interest test. As the CPS are acting for the public on behalf of the crown it is a matter of course that the public interest in the crime is considered. The CPS does not act for the victim even if it can seem that way. What a CPS lawyer need to do is weigh up the factors for and against prosecuting and decide on those grounds whether to continue.

One good thing I found out was that in domestic violence allegations the CPS are more likely than not to continue the case even when the “victim” has withdrawn support. This is because the needs of the public to have domestic violence punished outweighs the wants of the victim in most cases. Only in unusual circumstances or when evidence is lacking will a domestic violence action be dropped.

After today I am on my way to wanting this working environment for myself....


Day two: Tuesday 30^th October.

Today was spent in Bath police station in the CPS charging office. This was a very interesting day although I could imagine how lonely and tedious this could become. Normally when in the charging office you would be sat on your own waiting for the police to bring you matters which needed your attention. At this point the test would be used to decide whether we should charge and therefore continue the case or release the suspect.

I found this day very informative as this was one aspect of the CPS which you do not hear very much about. I spent the day looking at evidence with the CPS lawyer and helping him to decide whether there was enough evidence for there to be a “realistic chance of conviction”.

This day included watching a couple of pieces of CCTV footage and helping the CPS lawyer to decide if the evidence would be strong enough. One of those videos it seemed unclear how likely it was that the facts pointed in the favour of the crown however after over 30min of analysis, which had been left to me, it seemed that the case was actually stronger that we had both originally thought.

I was also taken into the custody department of the police station to see where suspects were taken for interview and where they were held pending release on bail. Finally I saw someone being booked in and saw real law in action watching a suspect be made aware of his rights under PACE.

Overall a very enlightening day and one in which I learnt a lot in a short length of time and without doing very much.


Day three: Wednesday 31^st October.

Today was spent in the Magistrates Court. A very useful experience but not very exciting. I spent a short time talking to an advocate for the crown and finding out a bit about how a normal day in the Magistrates Court usually goes.

It was a slow start and I realised that working for the crown meant staying in one court in front of the same panel of Magistrates for the entire day working through a pile of cases one by one. To cope with this sort of level of work you have to be well organised and balanced. Your mind has to be able to move quickly from one case to the next without getting lost or confused. A lot of cases the advocate I was with was doing she had only received that morning as they were overnight arrests which had to be dealt with fairly quickly.

I say that it was a slow start, that was really only once arriving at court. For the advocate her day had started at 7:45 with reading the case files with which she was going to be dealing.

One thing I noticed about the Magistrates Court was that everything had a very speedy feel to it and the cases seemed to want to go really quickly. Even the advocates seemed to be talking quickly, it was only the panel who seemed to take their time both while considering their decision and in delivering it to the court.


Day four: Thursday 1^st November.

Today was spent with the trials unit at the CPS. This department deals with the cases going to the Crown Court. I spent part of the day in the court with a CPS barrister and the other part of the day in the office reading case files.

These case files differed from those in the Criminal Justice Unit as these were prepared for trial and so had different types of material in them but they were essentially the same. The offences covered ranged from simple assaults (ABH) through sexual offences and serious domestic violence cases up to weapons offences.


Day five: Friday 2^nd November.

Today was my final day with the CPS and was one of high emotion. I spent the entire day in the Crown Court watching one of the CPS HCA's at work. I spent the day sat with a pupil with the CPS who was in her first 6mnths pupillage. She spent most of the day explaining what it was like training with the CPS and trying to convince me to take the BVC and then apply to the CPS for my pupillage. Not that I have any idea what it is I actually want to do still.

I could quite easily describe the Crown Court on a Friday as a cattle market. It never seemed to stop. Case after case was heard, it was all really short ad mainly applications for bail and/or applications to extend custody and/or application by the crown to change the indictment and/or pleas.

It was a really interesting week and although I left with even less of an idea of what I wanted to do it definitely gave me some “food for thought”.

Career Path

Changing a career path is not an easy decision, especially when it is as radical as my decision needs to be.

Over the past two years I have been embarking on the journey to become a Lawyer. Law degree, applications to Law firms, and much more. Every decision was made with a view to following this legal career path. Although I always had in my mind that if that failed then I would have a back up of teaching Maths. A subject I had always enjoyed and doing something I half did in school.

Now I am at a crossroads. I have reached a point where much as I like Law I am unsure that it is for me. I have been analysing what it is that I want from my career. Is it to earn lots of money while doing something "interesting" or is it doing something that you enjoy (and always have done) with a view to making a difference. At this moment either a career in Law or Teaching could take one role or the other.

The next few months will be make or break for my legal career. Depending on how well the start of my final year at Uni goes and also how I find my week with the CPS will influence my decision one way or the other. No matter what I will be completing this final year, BUT, I may not be applying this year for the LPC I may apply for the PGCE.

November will be my decision point. I want to have made my mind up one way or the other by the end of November so I can start my applications before Christmas. My CPS week is at the end of October, I will then talk to a careers advisor and get their advice. Then by December I hope to have started my applications.

Meat Loaf: Bat Out of Hell III - The Monster is Loose

I have been waiting for this for such a long time now. This is the 3rd album by Meat Loaf with the Bat Out of Hell title. The newest offering from this rock legend and another fantastic musical feast.

This man has surpassed himself. It seemed impossible for him to improve on his past offerings. The release before this "Couldn't Have Said It Better" introduced a new generation to the magic that is Meat Loaf. It was a musical masterpiece, and it seemed that he could not get any better.

Now listening to this 3rd Bat Out Of Hell album I have realised that I was wrong. This is even better than ever before. Lyrically the songs have more meaning and depth. Musically it is richer and more melodic but with the same soft rock feel that defines his style.

Another success for Meat Loaf I think!

Lee's Graduation

I was so proud of my fiance this weekend. He was the first in his family to graduate from uni. OK so it was only a HND he will tell you (if you ask) but that isn't the point is it.

If you have never been to a graduation before it can be a bit difficult to imagine. Picture a big hall with all of the graduates in suits with their robes on feeling very special. All of the faculty sat on the stage in their robes looking very smug (and bored if you ask me). This is most parents proudest moment other than their child's wedding day.

SO the scene is set, and the graduates are lined up. Then comes the bit that takes the longest, members of the teaching staff stand up and read out the names of all of the graduates who decided to come to the event. As each name is called different volumes of claps and chears are heard (depending on the number of family members in the audience). By the end of the list your hands are tired, however Lee was right near the end so we had too save some energy to clap our loudest for him.

It was a beautiful event and something that we will have to go through again many times in the future. Next will be mine, then my best friend, and finally him again.


Shot with V3935 Digital Camera at 2007-07-26

Harry Potter Summer!

This is the biggest Harry Potter Summer ever. The 5th film and the 7th book all in the same month. Someone must be smiling upon Harry Potter fans everywhere. The long awaited final book of the Harry Potter series is out on the 21/07/2007 but until then Harry Potter fans can be contented with the 5th film. "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" is based on the 5th book of the series bearing the same name. The longest of the books so far with so many twists you'd easily lose your way. So how does the film live up to the legacy of the book? Is it a disappointing or aggravating version with so little in common that Harry Potter fans are left screaming "That's not right!" Well...

I was not disappointed. Although there were slight inaccuracies from the book but they could be forgiven for the quality of the film as a whole. The book was good and the film matched that reputation. It had the right mix of light and dark while not being overly "childish". Considering how dark the book was to read, I found myself laughing at very inopportune moments.

Harry Potter mania aside, as a film this was beautifully done and well worth watching for the art of it. If you don't like the Harry Potter madness then watch it as a film for what it is. The director went for a very artistic take on the story. The parts that had been left out or changed worked and the young cast has grown so well in their roles that the acting now seems second nature compared to the first film.

Daniel's portrayal of the disturbed teen was magical in itself. Couple that with the conflicted feelings portrayed by the other cast members and it all adds up to a deeply emotional film.

Easily the best film yet in the Harry Potter collection. Will the final book keep up this level of greatness?? Only time will tell.

Very Strange Dream

I had a very strange dream the other night. It wasn't a bad dream, it wasn't a scary dream, it was just a little bit odd. You know how dreams can be comforting or disturbing, well this one was both.

It was that point in the night where you wake up knowing its morning but want to go back to sleep. As it was the weekend I was able to go back to sleep knowing that I didn't have much to do that day. So in that second wave of sleep I had the most vivid dream, as I always do. The most vivid and memorable dreams fall in that second wave of sleep.

What was the dream I had then? Well, let me elaborate. The dream started with me finding out I was pregnant, not bad, it happens. So when I had the baby, my fiance, the baby and me were still in his room in his parents house. Not bad, well his room is the smallest in the house and there is barely enough room for the two of us. So when there were three in my dream it was very tight. The baby grew, but no-one else did, and the dream ended when my baby was about 5 years old.

So what, you may ask, was strange about that? Firstly, we both decided that we would not have a baby until we had our own home. Secondly, the rest of the family didn't get any older so it ended with my baby being older than his youngest nephew. AND Finally, I have this feeling inside that it was a vision of my baby, my son. Beautiful rosy cheeks, gorgeous dark brown ringlets, big brown eyes, perfect in every way. I heard his voice, what a wonderful voice it was too, ringing and clear, not sharp, the voice of an angel.

Sorry if this seems odd to you but it was so real even though time was a bit off. I am shocked at myself but I just have this belief deep down that it was my future son.

What is the Kabbalah?

So you may be wondering what the Kabbalah actually is. After reading my first post on the Kabbalah it leaves much to be explained.



The Kabbalah is also known as the "tree of life" and is originally a Jewish mystery tradition with which Kabbalists aim to gain commune with God. It holds a principle of self development and growth, with which anyone could work. The Kabbalah has been around for many centuries some believing that it dates to the time of Adam in the Garden of Eden. Study of the Kabbalah has had a turbulent time during its existence, including a ban on studying it during the 15-16th century.

You may be wondering how something so old and abstract as the Kabbalah can have any meaning for today? In a world of atheism and disbelief in spiritualism what use is there for a system of belief which is supposed to allow you to commune with God? Listen to your soul, what do you hear? NOTHING? That's what the Kabbalah is for, to bring you to a point where you can understand what it is you want to do with your life. It is a process of self fulfillment in which you learn more about yourself then you ever thought there was to know.

In an age of science where everything that once excited and amazed mankind can be explained there is a great need for something which gives a different view on life. The Kabbalah gives that different view, so journey with me in the Kabbalah and learn to understand life in a different way.


sources: http://www.magickaschool.com/
Hopking C.J.M., The Practical Kabbalah Guidebook, Godsfield Press, 2001.
http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kabbalah

Film Review: Shrek the Third

This is the third and apparently final installment of the Shrek films. Built up beyond belief on the back of the previous two. If it was going to live up to the Shrek name it had to be good. A tough task by all accounts.

The cast of Shrek returned to tell us the next part of the Shrek and Fiona story. Characters that made a welcome return included, the Gingerbread Man, the three blind mice, Prince Charming and many more. Plus it introduced Art voiced by none other than Justin Timberlake (put the torches and pitchforks down please).

So how does this one shape up? Can this final installment be everything that we hoped it would? Well to tell you the truth I was disappointed, not surprisingly, but I was. The story was good, but I can see children getting bored easily as there was no where near as much "action" as there was in the other two. This film had a moral and important message, however I don't really think that this was the sphere to tell it.

Musically the first two were fantastic, the music within them was used to perfection. This installment was not up to standard. In the first two the music was so memorable, but this didn't seem to have anywhere near the caliber of the other two.

Overall as a children's film it fulfilled its role to a good degree. As a family film it was OK but it was trying to hard to have "adult" parts within it. As the final installment, it completes the story quite well. If you enjoyed the other ones then I suggest you watch it for completeness but I give you this warning IT IS NOT AS GOOD AS THE FIRST TWO!!

I'd give it a 7/10

Work Related Stress (again)

By the end of the evening this is what I wanted to do to my work computer. Not because of the computer but because of the people ringing me through it!


It was one of those up/down days where good and bad things happened in tandem. I received some really good news from my Team Leader, my customer service score was 100%. However after receiving that news I went on to have some really nasty, awkward calls. People don't seem to realise that if the system says no then nothing can be done for them. No matter how many times I try to explain that to people they have this belief that the Team Leaders can work miracles.

What makes people think that "managers" are all powerful? They seem to believe that by asking a manager to do something suddenly the answer changes. MOST of the time it DOESN'T.

So although I had some really good calls, as you do in a 6 hour day, some of the calls were of the above type. Including the last call of the evening....

I finish work at 10pm so when a call comes through at 9:50pm you get a satisfied feeling knowing that you could make the call last 10 min then you can go home. All well and good unless that call is the worst one you had all day. At 9:55pm I was asked by the customer to get my "manager" who, in their mind, would be able to change the computer system. NOT likely. So one of the TL came over to talk to her and after another 15mins she is still unhappy. luckily the phone dies and the TL decides not to call her back. So I get to leave for my bus at 10:15... not good when that is the time the bus is due.

Missed the bus had another half hour wait for the next one. Great!! What a day!!!!!

Blue Moon

As you may well know it was a full moon the other day (31/05/2007) and to top it off it was a Blue Moon. Now full moons affect me most of the time anyway but blue moons the worst. I am always a bit cranky when the moon is full and especially if it is the second one of the month. Worst bit is that the blue moon has also fallen in the month of my birth. Not good!!

So, that set the day up really. I woke up feeling really bad, having not slept well. Other than that the morning was really quite good. Went out for lunch with a friend, and didn't get served until 2:15 (so I was really hungry). BUT again not too bad. Then things start to go down hill. Firstly it starts to rain so I get soaked. Then I went to work.........

What a night! Starts off with some simple calls which I can cope with. Then I get a transfer from another department for a problem that is their's to solve. While trying to explain that to them they decide to just transfer the customer through anyway. At which point, while trying not to lose my temper, I explain that I need to pass them back to that department because it is not my call. STRESS NUMBER 1

The evening continues fairly well until my last call of the night. This customer decides that everything that has gone wrong is my fault and that I am only not helping him because I don't want to. It was like trying to explain to a brick wall why it needed a hole cutting into it for a door. Nothing I said was going through to him. He kept saying something when I had just explained really clearly that it couldn't happen. He wasn't happy, and then started asking to talk to my team leader... who had gone home incidentally... so I looked around and saw that all of the team leaders were busy. Nothing I could do I explained, but no.... he decided that he would "hold for as long as it took" (this is at 9:45, 15min before we were due to go home). Luckily one of the team leaders became free and was able to sort something out for him. STRESS NUMBER 2

So, that was that, except that I was then due to go out that night. After all the stresses of the day I felt awful. I decided not to go out but to go home and get some sleep. Not that I was tired by the time I made it home. STRESS NUMBER 3

So thats the stress that a blue moon puts me under.

The Kabbalah: Malkuth in Assiah

Stage 32: The Experience of the Earth

Exercise: Be here now

• Decide in advance when, where, and for how long you are going to do this exercise. To begin, choose maybe 10 minutes at a time where you can be alone, with few distractions.

• For the length of time you do this exercise, just be aware of what happens. If you are sitting, be aware the you are sitting. If you are walking or talking, just be aware of walking or talking.

• Do not let anything that happens stop you from just doing this exercise, which is to be aware of what happens when you do what you are doing.

• What did you notice?...

Hopking C.J.M., “The Practical Kabbalah Guidebook”, Godsfield Press, 2001, pg 43.

While completing this exercise I experienced many different things on each occasion. At first my mind started to wander to places which had no real meaning. I was still completely aware of myself and what I was experiencing but my mind took leave of the real and wandered in nothingness. I was not totally content. Thinking back on the experience I realised that when I was a young child (about 6/7 years old) I would sit and spend many a time just thinking nothing, being aware of the world around me, but not being part of it. I was never really conscious of this action but now I think back on it, it was something very natural and very relaxing.

The problem with growing older, and with modern life, is that you cannot afford to just stay in the moment. The moment is filled with worries about the future, about what you are going to do the next moment. A moment you are in is always leading you to somewhere else. A moment never leads to nothing.

Unless you are in deep meditation that quiet place, where your mind stops and allows you to just be, is the hardest place to find. Modern life fills your mind with other things and places a barrier to stop you getting to that quiet place. Try it sometime, you'll be surprised as to how busy your mind really is.

Intro

Hi,
I've been blogging on MySpace for a while now but decided that it was a bit boring just having it on there. This is why I have decided to Blog properly.

So what is it I have to say to the world. I'm Wiccan, a very misunderstood religion, and I am a student. I have opinions on many different topics and am not afraid to share them. I am learning the Kabbalah and would like to share my journey with the world.

So this is me... a 20 year old Wiccan Law student with something to say to the world.

Blessed Be and thanks for reading
Crystal